Haven’t done this in a while but I won’t utter any apologias for grammar, spelling or otherwise abandoning the King’s Speech. I need this to be RAW and my flow needs to move down my aorta without stopping at my brachial, antecubital, or radial regions of my artial system. I need my Xi to squeeze this thru my little capillaries to this media unadulterated. Fuck!!! Let’s go.
I fucked up at the wrong time. I am a ten-year older that saw a shiny red bike that I just had to have. I’m impoveri… Fuck that, I’m emotionally bankrupt but I assure my mom that if I get the bike I’ll do right. I’ll do my homework, ride my bike, clean her after my ride, oil each link of the chain… I know I trampled on my toys from Christmases past but if you get this bike for me it will be different. So now the fucked thing is I got a scooter for my Birthday on October 2 and I ghost rode that bitch in traffic and right into an 18-wheeler. So, I understand that to ask my poor mom to go in debt for my ungrateful ass is a reach. My mom taught me a lesson and on Christmas day she got me what I deserved, a not so shiny lump of coal. WTF, mom. She sat me down and told me that if I wanted to get my shiny red bike, I’d have to work at it. So I got the message and applied millenniums worth of pressure to turn my heart into a diamond. And I found someone who was going to treasure my heart and I sold it. Like this musing, I passed every bank where I could invest the money to go straight to the tip of the store where the shiny red bike was located. What did I find? One shiny red bike left over from this years Christmas rush. To top it off, it was on sale. I couldn’t believe there were no buyers. She was more shiny than I could have hoped for; I pushed through lines at the store and went in line with a pocket full of money. The cashier told me some price and despite the cost I gave every cent I earned from my barter of my heart. Before the cashier could finish counting, I jumped on my treasure and rode out the store. I yelled back at the cashier in pursuit to give me change, “KEEP IT.” I felt in the depths of my soul that I made the deal of the era.
I remembered the lessons I learned and the promises made. I went to school and told all my friends about my new shiny bike, I told the principal, the janitor, teachers, I shouted to the top of the world, I got my bike. Listening to my excitement was, the local bully. I mean this was the meanest muthafucker the world has ever seen. After school I hit the corner and I was was awakened by the reality of a Louisville Slugger to my head. I flipped off my bike but landed on my feet with blood rushing from my mouth only being raced by my teeth. But fuck it, like I taught my first born, pain is temporary, glory is forever; so I threw my sets up ready to defend my bike against the bully. To my amazement he had friends who grabbed my arms and opened me up to the most violent punch I will ever feel. I folded over with tears of glory coming from my eyes. I was just gut punched.
When I looked up, I was even more surprised to see the bully was still there but his had was extended to shake my hand. He asked me my name. I straighten up and proudly answered, “Jonathan Brent Campbell” and I quickly asked him, where’s my shiny red bike.
He looked into my soul and responded, “JC took it”
Just then my shiny red bike vanished
Damn, Karma!!!
Please forgive me, Shiny Red Bike for my irresponsibility with you. I pray you return. Lesson learned
N-Visible Manifesto 